


Love Sucks

by silentexplorer18



Category: Colby Brock - Fandom, Sam and Colby, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends With Benefits, Mild Language, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Humor, Trust Issues, apartment neighbors, mild depictions of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:01:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21810496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentexplorer18/pseuds/silentexplorer18
Summary: You and Colby have found yourselves enjoying the friends with benefits lifestyle, but sometimes love just sucks.
Relationships: Colby Brock/reader, Jake Webber & Reader
Kudos: 9





	Love Sucks

You’d been living in the apartment complex well before the three rowdy boys had shown up, but that didn’t keep you separated from them for long.

It had started as a late night filming session. Corey, Jake, Sam, and Colby had all piled into Colby’s apartment to film a sleepover video. Although the filming had began pretty casually, it was going on for much longer than expected, and the giddiness of exhaustion was starting to make them less conscious of how loud they were getting.

At an ungodly hour of the morning, you’d finally marched down the hall in your ripped tee shirt and shorts to try to calm the raucous noises that echoed through your walls from the neighboring room. Banging on the door, you were pleasantly surprised to be met with a fully clothed boy, not some half naked dope, with dark hair hanging around his tired eyes.

“Yeah?” he asked softly. You could hear the exhaustion dripping from his voice, pooling at his feet and weighing him down.

“Listen, normally I wouldn’t do this, but it’s two in the morning and the screaming is _literally_ starting to drive me insane. It’s cool if you wanna have orgies and stuff; that’s all your business. But could you _please_ try to keep the screaming down a little?” You smirked, letting your sass get the better of you.

His eyes grew wide at your comment, marveling at how forward you were. “We aren’t doing that, but, yeah, I’ll get everyone to pipe down a little.”

“Thanks.”

“And you are?” he asked, quirking a brow.

“Your neighbor. (Y/n). Nice to meet you, Mr…?”

“Brock,” he smirked. “Colby Brock.”

Turning, you traipsed down the hall toward your room, smirking back at him as you pushed through your unlocked door. “Have fun with your orgy, Mr. Brock. Goodnight!”

And with that, you vanished into your room, leaving him to marvel at the reality of the late night encounter. With your playful eyes and sassy quips swirling through his mind, you became his midnight enigma.

* * *

It was a few days later when you found a basket in front of your door. Glancing at the note, you couldn’t help but let a smile wash over your features.

> Sorry about the noise the other night. If you ever need to complain, or wanna join in on the fun, call me. -Colby. 

Below it, he’d scrawled his phone number. Hoisting up the basket, you carried it inside, marveling at all the sweets and snacks he’d sent as an apology. At first, you’d thought it was too nice, but then you noticed a few boxes of things you hadn’t originally noticed. He’d sent you a noise machine and some ear plugs. Giggling, you pulled out your phone and texted the goofball.

> Y/N: As sweet as that gift is, how do you expect me to listen to my noise machine if I’m wearing earplugs?

A few seconds later, he replied.

> Colby: The idea was to help drown out the noise
> 
> Y/N: Maybe you just shouldn’t invite screamers when you’re having orgies in the apartment
> 
> Colby: It wasn’t an orgy. We were filming a video
> 
> Y/N: Porn? Oh God, and here I thought you were charming
> 
> Colby: Lol, no. Not porn. But I can explain over dinner tonight if you want

Pondering it for a moment, you let loose your first _why the hell not_ event of the evening. But that would not be the only event of that capacity to occur during the course of your date.

He’d been a gentleman and offered to drive you to dinner, meaning you arrived home together. After parking in the garage, he offered you his hand as you ascended the steps onto your floor of the complex. “Do you wanna come back to mine for a drink?” he asked, squeezing your hand as you walked.

Blushing, you murmured, “I’m not really one for drinking, but I’d love to give you some company if you want it.”

Stepping into his apartment, he turned your body toward him with a small tug of your hand. “Tell me if this isn’t what you want,” he whispered as his lips hovered over yours.

With a breathy voice, you whispered back, “Kiss me.”

That night was the first of many no-strings-attached nights to come. Not living with a hoard of boys anymore, he realized pretty quickly that living alone left him a lot of time to be sad. So you ended up coming around pretty frequently.

It wasn’t long before he fell for your body; the way it would curl under his touch and the way he only found his name beautiful when it was falling from your desperate, swollen lips - a telltale sign of your orgasm - left him enamored with your sexy figure. He’d groan, hips rutting against your own as he gave all of himself to you, loving the way you’d drag his name out, moaning while he came inside you. At first, he never moaned your name the way you did his, but the longer the two of you explored your physical attraction, he couldn’t keep your name from tumbling from his bitten lips in moments of pure ecstacy.

Although there were plenty of breathless nights between the sheets - and in the loft, on the kitchen counter, in the shower, and on the couch - those were not the only encounters the two of you shared. Like minded in many ways, the two of you quickly realized that you made a great friendship. He began to invite you to hang out with the boys or even alone at his apartment to watch movies and talk. Slowly, he began to realize he always wanted you around.

But this was _strictly_ friends with benefits.

He didn’t want you as anything more.

You both knew that.

But that couldn’t stop you from falling.

I mean, _really_ , who could avoid falling for a guy that held your hand when he led you through the city, trying his hardest to make you laugh, and always made sure to put the needs of everyone else before his own? Although you tried your hardest to keep your pesky heart at bay, you were falling in love with him. Without him, your days seemed lonely and pointless, and he seemed to understand you in a way nobody else had before.

You were hopelessly in love.

Yet you pushed your feelings aside, knowing full well that he could never love you back.

The universe didn’t like you that much.

Fate would never provide you with someone so utterly perfect.

But at least you got along well with his friends. Well, most of his friends. Corey thought you were awesome, and Jake clicked with you like a seatbelt. He quickly became your best friend in the group other than Colby. Sam was the difficult one. He was polite enough, but he didn’t really seem to like you that much. To him, he was just displacing anger at how stupid Colby was being to not have fallen in love with you. To you, it was just another telltale sign that Colby would never fall for you; his best friend didn’t like you.

But Jake, dear, sweet Jake, figured out pretty early on that you had feelings for his companion. Ever since you’d been introduced to the group, there was an unspoken code that you belonged to Colby. His hands would caress your body, pulling you against him at parties; during adventures, he’d hold your hand and reassure you that everything would be okay. Most of these were construed as friendly actions or precursors to sex. Yet Jake saw through your casual remarks, deciphering pretty quickly that you’d caught the “love bug,” as he so eloquently put it.

After months of him pushing you to admit your feelings, you’d finally found the courage to do it. Marching to Colby’s door, again in your pajamas, he’d let you into his home. But before you could speak, his lips were connecting with yours, hands pulling you against his shirtless, toned figure with a grunt.

You were a goner.

Between the moaning and screaming and the way your naked body was silhouetted against the moonlight, he hadn’t given you the time to confess your feelings, pure want overcoming all rational thoughts in both of your minds. In the afterglow, you’d fallen asleep, too physically and emotionally exhausted to handle the difficult conversation that was to come.

It wasn’t until the next morning when you’d finally regained the courage to talk to him. He’d brought you a bowl of cereal and kissed you awake, allowing both of you to lounge in his bed and munch on breakfast. Turning on a movie, he’d allowed your silence to be normal. The laughter and soft chatter of the television blocking out all need for conversation. That fact was far from comforting.

You hadn’t realized you were speaking until the words had already left your mouth. “I like you, Colby.”

His eyes never left the screen. “I like you, too, (Y/n). If I didn’t, we wouldn’t be here together.” A chuckle flowed from his lips like everything was normal.

Caught off guard by his reply, you tried again. “I mean I like you in a different way. I’m in love with you.”

He froze, and the panic stricken look on his face was enough to answer your silent question before the words could leave his mouth. You jumped up, immediately beginning to dress as he started his recovery speal, but you were hardly in the mood to hear it. “I’m not ready for something like that right now. Sam and I are working on a really big filming project, and we’ll be traveling a bunch. It’s not that you aren’t amazing and beautiful, I just don’t need something like that in my life right now. Things are working like this; I’m not ready for anything to change.”

“It’s okay, Colby. It’s whatever,” you muttered, grabbing your phone from the sheets and racing toward the door.

Trying to keep your tears at bay, your mind began the spiral of thoughts that had been buried by Colby’s affections previously.

_You’ll never be enough._

_No one will ever like you._

_Colby’s too good for you._

_People only think of you as an easy fuck._

_You aren’t worth love._

_You don’t deserve real love._

_This makes you a whore._

_Slut._

_You’ve been screwing your neighbor for months._

_The two of you aren’t dating._

_And you never will date._

_Worthless._

_Stupid._

As you slid from the door, Sam stepped out of his apartment, preparing to talk to Colby. The two of you made eye contact, a look of shame passing over your features as you slunk down the hall to Jake’s room, banging on the door before his smiling face greeted you, allowing you access into his home. Sam sighed, knowing already the unpleasant conversation that would greet him when he entered Colby’s apartment.

“What’s up?” Jake asked as you made a beeline for his couch.

Crashing on it face first, you muttered, “Love sucks.”

Sighing and giving you a small smile you couldn’t see, he sat beside you and stroked your hair softly. “I know it does. I’m sorry. Let’s watch a movie. That’ll help.”

It really didn’t.

* * *

You didn’t really talk to Colby much after that, knowing that you couldn’t stand to be around him as some casual sex object. Before, the friends with benefits thing was fun, but now the thought of giving your body to him just broke your heart. Knowing that all he wanted from you was to have some physical attention, every time you saw a photo he posted or a call from him, you just felt like a fool for thinking you could deserve anything more than that. At first, he tried to text you. He even pushed out a few calls, but you always found an excuse to miss them. It didn’t take too long for him to give up.

Eventually, he went on his ghost hunting trip with the boys. Smiling for the camera, he appeared to be just fine, but behind the scenes, the duo found him irritable and snarky to the point of nearly unbearable to be around. Temper shot and feelings muddled, Sam and Jake eventually had to speak up about his behavior.

“You’ve gotta talk to her, bro,” Jake encouraged.

“What do you mean?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’ve been pissed ever since the two of you broke it off. We’re not stupid.”

“We didn’t break it off. We were never together.”

Jake chuckled. “Maybe that was the problem.”

* * *

The thing that sucked the most was the sleeping. You’d grown so used to falling asleep at Colby’s side, it had become very difficult to drift off on your own. Nothing seemed to help, not even the stupid noise machine he’d given you as a present.

It was the middle of the night when you decided to try getting some fresh air. The swirling thoughts in your head left your apartment feeling cramped and stuffy; although you knew the outdoors would provide little relief from that, you allowed yourself to pretend it would help.

Stepping out onto your balcony, the last thing you expected to find was Colby sitting on the neighboring balcony, tired frame leaning against the wall. Seemingly lost in thought, he didn’t appear to notice you, so you plopped down on the ground, resting the side of your face against the cool metal railing.

You’d almost lost yourself in contemplation before his scratchy voice, thick with unshed tears, pushed out, “I’m not ready to be in love.”

With a small breath, you replied. “You don’t have to be, Colby. We don’t have to be anything if you don’t want it.” As much as it hurt, you tried to remain nonchalant, knowing crying would only make your heart hurt more.

“You didn’t let me finish,” he said, voice clearing as he continued. “I’m not ready to be in love. The last girl that I was with really fucked me up. She strung me along and then cheated on me. Said I wasn’t hot enough or smart enough of popular enough for her. That’s what sucks about love. The person can break you apart, and you can’t do anything about it but regret giving your heart away. I wasn’t ready to fall in love with you, but I did. And it terrifies the shit out of me because I don’t know how to deal with it.”

This time, it was your turn to freeze as your eyes darted to his balcony. He was still staring straight ahead as you replied. “But the thing is, I wouldn’t hurt you.”

Sighing, he whispered out, “But you could if you wanted to.”

“I’d never want to,” you interjected.

“Stop interrupting,” he said gruffly, eyes finally glancing over toward your balcony.

“You know what? No,” you said, rising from your position on the concrete. “You’re right, love is about trust. And I gave every fucking moment of these last few months trusting you not to hurt me, but you can’t do the same. I don’t know what I did to make every man on the fucking planet think I’m some sort of heinous bitch, but I’m not. I’d never hurt you, Colby. I fell in love with you even though I knew you’d never love me back because you’re just too damn good to be true. I gave you everything I had and it still wasn’t enough. But I’m not sorry for trying. You can’t go through life without fucking _feeling_ anything. You need love just like you need hate and lust and hunger and sadness. You can’t live your life alone. But clearly I’m not the person that fits the criteria to pull you from your feelingless stupor.” Turning, your hand latched on the door handle. “Goodnight, Colby. I really hope you find real love someday. You really do deserve it.”

Slipping through the door, you let out a loud sigh. _Of all the guys you had to fall for, why did it have to be him?_

A few moments later, you heard a knock at the door. With a creak, you opened it, and warm arms immediately surrounded your figure. “I already found it,” he croaked, gentle tears soaking through your shirt.

“What?”

“I already found it.”

“Found what?” you asked, stunned at the way he was so helplessly clinging to your body.

“Love. I’m in love with you. And I trust you. Just please,” his voice cracked, “don’t break my heart. Please don’t leave me. I can’t take that again.”

Wrapping your arms around him, you began to rub his back soothingly. “I’m right here, Colby. I’m not leaving.”

Letting out a few shaky breaths, he mumbled into your hair the words you’d been dying to hear for weeks. “Can I stay over tonight?”

“Yeah, honey,” you whispered. “Always.”

He cuddled with you in bed that night, clinging like a koala to the safety and comfort you provided.

“I was so scared I’d lost you,” he admitted to your sleepy figure.

“Love sucks like that sometimes,” you mumbled, sliding a hand into his hair to massage his head, “but I love you, and I’m not leaving as long as you love me.”

“As if I could stop.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my fic! I hope you enjoyed it. You can also find me on


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